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New outlook, same me

I realized the reason I felt I needed to stop blogging in January 2019 was that I felt like the life I was living wasn't my own. Since I wasn't living my own life, it wasn't my place to tell others' stories. It was also a really low time and I wasn't feeling very good about myself despite some of the most amazing events of my life happening in 2018. I had nor have the desire to capitalize on blogging or social media. On a scale of 1 to a 100, you could count my interest in being an #influencer on one hand. So why am I back? Well, I missed it. I missed writing. Life has settled into a routine, chaotic as it may be. We are in a good place (not just saying that this time) with the stepkids' mom. My professional life is in a place that I'm genuinely proud of what I do. I'm back to a spot of being ok with myself and what I'm trying to accomplish. My first blog was about being single and chasing an elusive dream of being an Ironman. Not only did I achieve Ironman status 3 times, I also managed to marry into an insta-family. This blog is about being middle-aged and my attempt to manage the circus I find myself in the middle of and any other random topic I feel like yammering about. My parents are aging and my mother specifically is faltering in health. I'm still the peacekeeper of my immediate family (yay for being the youngest!) I help my husband raise his kids through part-time custody and full-time concern. My friends are being diagnosed with cancer and some are winning the battle and some have lost it. I still struggle with the shift in dynamic of my life that I'm not the single one any more, as do others in my life, and because of that I've lost some friends. I used to train 6-7 days a week and it was a priority; life happened around training. Now, I find that training is lower on my list of priorities and I'm reaping the effects of "being happy". I find writing therapeutic. If you enjoy what I have to say and you'd like to follow along, please do. I welcome your comments. Want to stalk and just read? Have at it. Maybe we can draw some encouragement, motivation, and empathy from each other.

Comments

  1. UnknownDecember 4, 2019 at 7:51 AM

    Shawna you and I met because of triathon, but this post is my life in a nutshell. The chaos that is my house can only be explained as a tornado with legs. 4 sets of human legs, and two sets of huge dog legs that go through my house on a daily basis. I am finally in a place where I am good, but I am also dealing with weight gain, and health issues of aging parents that sometimes feel a out of my control so we are two peas in the same middle-aged pod.
    Darsh

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    Replies
    1. Shawna GrayDecember 30, 2019 at 9:21 AM

      Sorry I missed the comment! I know I'm not alone and I know you feel the struggle too! Hopefully we can continue supporting each other as we try to be the version of ourselves we hope for.

      Delete

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